First day, heh.

So today marked my first official day at work.

Just watched a sermon off a friend's facebook wall and coupled with a ton of other factors, I feel God's been so gracious to remind me that He doesn't need me. Ha.

I find my mind wondering how "effectiveness" of ministry can make me look to others. If I preach well enough, with enough humor, with enough biblical insight, then maybe the kids will really love and praise me ... maybe my peers might respect me ... maybe my parents will be proud of me. 

They warn you when you are trying to discern your calling to ministry "Don't enter in if you can help it." Because behind all the social media that inspire me to want to be something (or someone) "important," is the reality that aspiring to this office might just get me more God and question my soul if that's enough.

More than a stage, a blog, a tweet can say, what I most need to remember is that my main job as a "pastor" (I still feel uncomfortable being called that) is to invest for the long haul in equipping the church family to do the work of the ministry (Eph. 4:12). May this understanding free me up to love these kids and this church instead of looking for love from them. 

New to this "shepherding" thing,

-Jon

*edit*
As pointed out by someone in class about two weeks ago, my main "job" as a pastor is to walk with the LORD*. Oh ya ...

Reflections from random readings in class.

The cross is an expression of God's very self, His very nature. God is our salvation.

Salvation is a manifestation of the character of God. Gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity BUT who will by no means clear the guilty.

It is very true that at the core of the gospel is a profound mystery that digs deep into who our Triune God is. I can barely even see it but it's amazing. Indeed, digging deep into the gospel will require one to dig "into the deep things of God," Himself.

God, reveal more of Yourself. I want to see. Give me sight to behold.

"A gospel too small"

"A gospel which is only about the moment of conversion but does not extend to every moment of life in Christ is too small. A gospel that gets your sins forgiven but offers no power for transformation is too small. A gospel that isolates one of the benefits of union with Christ and ignores all the others is too small. A gospel that must be measured by your own moral conduct, social conscience, or religious experience is too small. A gospel that rearranges the components of your life but does not put you personally in the presence of God is too small."
-Fred Sanders, "The Deep Things of God"

It's a blessing to have to read this as homework. Freal.

Scattered thoughts v.SoCal

Humbled by how much I need to learn.

Broken by the reality of the Fall for the first time in a long time. It gets more real the older I get. People need to know that there's hope. 

Pensive but hopeful in the power of Jesus.

Grateful for the school and church God's provided me to learn and serve in.

Banking on the blood of Christ.

Wanting to yearn for a more real, consistent intimate relationship with Christ. There's always more life to be had.

Reminded that the end goal of the gospel is getting God. It is about getting back to the sweetness and satisfaction of knowing and being with God, Himself. It's what we were created for. It's what we rebelled against. It's what Christ died to restore. Communion with God is basically what atonement is about. It's basically everything. Though I didn't read the book, the idea of "God is the Gospel" (Piper) has really helped me in this slow process of sanctification. He's the goal.

Caught off guard that God would still want to pursue a relationship with me. Somewhere in this ministry thing I had forgotten that God still cared about Jon, not just them. 

As one of the books I am required to read put it, I really need to get over trying to "live for God" and instead just enjoy living with Him.

In effort to summarize what I'm learning in bite-size readable pieces,
-Jon

I don't know where I am right now and it's awesome.

So ... I'm in LA (or ... er ... "Southern California") lol.

I really don't know how I got here so fast ... it's so crazy, but I'm grateful for the opportunity.

I really feel like God literally just picked me up and carried me over here. It's been weird but this journey following Jesus is so unexpected sometimes ... It's so good.

I know new challenges will come but if there's anything I've learned, it's that I'm small and God isn't.

Here's to this next season of getting equipped and serving young kiddos for the sake of building up the body of Christ. Thanks God. Grow me more please!
-Jon Lau