Blessed

So immensely blessed by Joey/Deb's wedding.

I don't even know that I asked for it, nor looked for it, but God showed me a clear picture of the gospel this weekend in them that left me a bit undone and full of joy and celebration. I can't believe that God delights in us. There's so much of me that knows what I ought to be rendered but was shown that instead of justice, God pursues his wayward, adulterous bride. Messy as we are, Christ came and died for sinners.

So beautiful was their wedding. Perhaps some day, so beautiful will be mine. For certain one day, so beautiful will be the church's. Jesus come.

Great weekend.

Really grateful to have experienced such fun and joy with my AFC fam in Waco and my CBC fam in the H this weekend. Even though it was only a day, before bed on Friday, I found myself smiling just thinking about how much I didn't realize I missed yawl. Cant wait to visit again soon. And coming back Saturday, I realized how gracious God is for giving me a home church like CBC. As much as I wanted to prove myself coming out of graduation as this confident, strong guy that knew what he was doing, God's humbled me and given me an imperfect but great community instead.

Post-grad life has not been easy by any stretch. It's been one of the hardest seasons of my life so far (and no that's not every season of life lol). Idolatry and identity issues have been exposed. The sense of fighting to prove myself has been confronted. And learning what exactly "waiting on God" means is still a process. Not gonna lie, it's been frustrating a lot of the time. It still is. But I've never felt God's pursuing and sanctifying me as a childish son so strongly in any other season of life.

I'm still unemployed. Still not knowing how exactly to respond to life update questions. But it's all good.

Pray that I'd get to work freal though and "just do something."
-Jon

First (er Second) Paper submission Reflections

So I just submitted my final paper for New Testament 2 and I just wanted to write down some recurring themes that kept coming at me:

1) "Jon you too young and ignant to be even in the discussion with these scholars, much less writing a paper about all this stuff" (some aren't alive btw)
2) Either my brain is fried or I really don't know as much as I thought lol.
3) we're really prone to reading into the scriptures instead of letting it just speak. you can even read good theology into the scriptures (it's not a win).
4) i just want to go outside and play ... (kidding ish)
5) eh, my writing needs work haha.

Overall, I know I could have done better with this paper. I don't believe it to be slop, but it's not nearly as good as I thought I could have made it had I not been so eh with time management.

The funny thing about writing papers in seminary as opposed to my undergrad years is that it really isn't so much about the grade I'll get but 1) how much I actually learned 2) how much effort I'm willing to put in to learn as much as I can.

Oh, the topic was "Works of the Law in Paul" ... and all that that entails.

Don't forget.

One of the most influential truths I've come to learn in recent years is to see repentance as a gracious invitation.

I have forgotten that truth it seems.

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Being self-absorbed, self-pitying, self-illusioned really makes gospel opportunities impossible to see. Who knew that pure self-interest was the harshest kind of slavery?

I frequently forget the message. The weight. The truth. The freedom purchased. Father, help me remember. Help me see rightly again.
____________

It's really funny (ironic?) though. As a guy aspiring to be a pastor, I sometimes let myself become disillusioned to the truth that life here really is fallen ... to the point that even the most beautiful and precious things in all the world are longing to be set free. It's hard to take in and confront sometimes. But there are conversations with people, statuses you read, relationships broken that remind you that people simply need Jesus. He really is the only hope we have. Spirit, magnify the good news of the Son.