Week 1 in the books.

So basically I'm getting paid to hang out with youth and teach them the Bible. This is awesome.

You know those times where you kind of just notice what's going on around you and you don't necessarily have a lot of time to take it all in but you know you're noticing it? I guess that could summarize some of the things I'm learning while spending time with the youth here at EPGCBC.

For the sake of organization and less ranting (doesn't mean this wont be a long post), I'll once again attempt at numbering my main thoughts:

1) Those thoughts I described in the previous paragraph seemed to happen a lot during my undergrad years at Baylor in regards to church planting ... and this internship really is a gift as I'm basically walking into a group of youth with no set leadership or resources. So for the main part, I'm grateful that in some ways I'm starting from scratch and I'm learning more and more concretely what I believe the heart of the scriptures say. Teaching youth will do that to you.

2) Not that I'm a pastor yet or that I'm owed it, but being a youth minister or pastor must be really freakin hard. Makes me love mine more. Within the 1st week of being here I've learned that youth ministry is a whole different ball game than college ministry, YET at the same time, I'm starting to see the connections between the two ... and how they ooze into the life stage I'm at now. It's like all the stages of my life so far are coming together in regards to ministry. I find it quite neat anyway ... but ya, youth ministry is no joke ... There's so much that goes into it.

3) There is a real need for more churches, more church planters, more pastors, more missionaries, more disciples of Jesus who make disciples of Jesus who make disciples of Jesus and so on ... (reference to some book's phrase I haven't read but liked). One of the first thoughts I had after spending 2-3 days with the kids and their parents was "there must be a number of communities that don't have Christian leaders/pastors/churches to have the gospel shared to, much less discipleship." I'm trying to reach and equip first generation Chinese American youth and first generation American-born Chinese American youth in the city of El Paso ... And the first thing I thought even before getting here was "I wish I could bring 1-2 people here to help me." Though I was encouraged by the church leaders hospitality, I was a bit overwhelmed by how big the need here was for the church's youth.

4) One of the more sobering things I'm starting to see is that there really are no days off as a Christian.

5) To add to that, it is especially true of pastors. If I ever intend to be one, there has got to be some pretty substantial changes in terms of my normal routine lifestyle and habits (such as not blogging at 4am).

6) It's a privilege to be doing what I'm doing.

7) The gospel is really really the only message I have to give ... that will last.
*A gospel that doesn't have its readers gravitate to the person of Jesus and the event of the cross isn't really the Christian gospel. Like I want to teach in a way that you're at the scene of Golgotha and at the same time seeing the grand cosmic event (and transaction) taking place.

8) As financial realities have started to force me to "grow up," I wonder how Paul could trust God so much (and know God would come through so confidently) by constantly sharing the gospel "free of charge." I'm aware that he asked for donations at times and I'm sure it helped that he never married ... but still. Makes me thinks.

9) My heart especially goes out to those who "mature out of the faith." Separate blog post on this one by itself coming next probably.

10. So grateful for this opportunity that God's given me. I need prayer.

Heh, I made a top 10 (in no order though).

Because of Christ,
-Jon

Life update of the past month and onward.

been a pretty sweet couple of weeks ... seeing my friends joe/deb get married, getting to hang out and teach some of the youth at el paso cbc summer retreat, coming back home to good eats and good laughs with my cbc family and various baylor kiddos and alumni, having chris/esther come down to visit while we celebrated my baby cousin dana's high school graduation with awkward/random cheers from chris ... and finishing off with getting to see the bcbc family for bbq last night. It's been a crazy/blessed past month or so. And on Tuesday is the start of a summer internship at el paso cbc working with the youth. Life in Jesus isn't easy. Post-grad surely hasn't been ... But as Joe/Deb would say, it's a freakin' fun "adventure" (I added the word "freakin'").

Prayers appreciated for the youth in El Paso, El Paso Grace CBC as they continue to strive to reach Chinese El Pasoans with the gospel, and myself as I try to serve/teach/equip/love well.

I don't know that there's been a more surprising season of my life in terms of having my sin exposed as this one. I didn't realize how much more growing up I have left ... But I'm grateful for these past 6 months. God is good, regardless of things lining up the way I wanted them to ... I didn't know it'd be a comfort to know that God's character is unchanging, and not predicated on what I think or feel.

deuces.

Blessed

So immensely blessed by Joey/Deb's wedding.

I don't even know that I asked for it, nor looked for it, but God showed me a clear picture of the gospel this weekend in them that left me a bit undone and full of joy and celebration. I can't believe that God delights in us. There's so much of me that knows what I ought to be rendered but was shown that instead of justice, God pursues his wayward, adulterous bride. Messy as we are, Christ came and died for sinners.

So beautiful was their wedding. Perhaps some day, so beautiful will be mine. For certain one day, so beautiful will be the church's. Jesus come.

Great weekend.

Really grateful to have experienced such fun and joy with my AFC fam in Waco and my CBC fam in the H this weekend. Even though it was only a day, before bed on Friday, I found myself smiling just thinking about how much I didn't realize I missed yawl. Cant wait to visit again soon. And coming back Saturday, I realized how gracious God is for giving me a home church like CBC. As much as I wanted to prove myself coming out of graduation as this confident, strong guy that knew what he was doing, God's humbled me and given me an imperfect but great community instead.

Post-grad life has not been easy by any stretch. It's been one of the hardest seasons of my life so far (and no that's not every season of life lol). Idolatry and identity issues have been exposed. The sense of fighting to prove myself has been confronted. And learning what exactly "waiting on God" means is still a process. Not gonna lie, it's been frustrating a lot of the time. It still is. But I've never felt God's pursuing and sanctifying me as a childish son so strongly in any other season of life.

I'm still unemployed. Still not knowing how exactly to respond to life update questions. But it's all good.

Pray that I'd get to work freal though and "just do something."
-Jon

First (er Second) Paper submission Reflections

So I just submitted my final paper for New Testament 2 and I just wanted to write down some recurring themes that kept coming at me:

1) "Jon you too young and ignant to be even in the discussion with these scholars, much less writing a paper about all this stuff" (some aren't alive btw)
2) Either my brain is fried or I really don't know as much as I thought lol.
3) we're really prone to reading into the scriptures instead of letting it just speak. you can even read good theology into the scriptures (it's not a win).
4) i just want to go outside and play ... (kidding ish)
5) eh, my writing needs work haha.

Overall, I know I could have done better with this paper. I don't believe it to be slop, but it's not nearly as good as I thought I could have made it had I not been so eh with time management.

The funny thing about writing papers in seminary as opposed to my undergrad years is that it really isn't so much about the grade I'll get but 1) how much I actually learned 2) how much effort I'm willing to put in to learn as much as I can.

Oh, the topic was "Works of the Law in Paul" ... and all that that entails.