Older.

I don't realize that I'm one of the older ones now ... There's no more of an excuse. Whether or not the way we live is Christianity or Christian-y is no longer something I can excuse as out of my hands. As much as I want to be a friend to these freshmen, I think they need me to be an older brother to them.

God, give me the grace to not withhold any longer. Everything in me wants to share my joy and share my cautions of love. I don't want to see my little sisters hurt. I don't want to see my little brothers be okay with being boys. They need someone to grow them. I don't want to withhold. God, kill this pride in me. I don't know how to fix myself. Fix me.