"The One You Need"

To say that me and my parents don't always see eye to eye on some things would be putting it nicely. We don't communicate as well as I wished we did and sometimes I don't know that they have a clue about me from all the changes of these 3 years of college thus far. It's hard to do real talk with them and when we do, somehow it's just not what I hoped it would be. They seemingly know how to push all the right buttons to expose my impatience and frustration ... Things that I thought were becoming my strengths in college. Yet, in the midst of scraping by some days with school and a million other things that my mind doesn't think they could understand, there are moments where my mom or dad simply pray for me and say things like "You know I pray for you everyday right?". I hardly ever see them do it. I don't know what it looks like when my mom prays for me everyday. It never occurred to me that she did. All my childish brain could see was that they seemed to always be taking away from my fun, my freedom. It's taken a while to see but perhaps they're trying to give me life rather than take it away.

One of my biggest weaknesses (and area of sin) that my friends in college don't see have to do with my family and that simply Colossians 3:20 command. It's something I'm working on that I wish I would make progress in with a lot more haste ... but it's songs like this that expose my arrogance that comes with my youth. I'm about to be 22 soon and I still see with just an infantile scope. I don't know that I'll understand my parents or what it's like to have me as a son. All I know is that God has lavished grace upon me with parents that were always there and always loved me even when all it seemed I did was push them away.

There are parts of me now that are grossly childish and I still struggle with letting my parents get close sometimes. Though it may take months later for me to see each time I throw my little tantrums, they love me anyway ... Sounds a lot like the gospel.

Heh ... It'll be interesting one of these days being a dad with that stubborn, irrational son of mine who seems to want nothing to do with me and laughs at my deepest yearnings for His good. If God grants me parenthood, it will indeed be an interesting part of my sanctification. But until then, I'm a 22 year old kid, under the authority of parents who love me, want what is best for me, and pay for my tuition :). Despite the disdain I have for curfews, I just gotta shut up and obey. They love me.

1 John 4:10. I think they get it as parents. Thanks mom and dad. I'll try to call/write more ... You're right. It's not unreasonable to do so.