Different year.

It's a really different year. It just is. It's a battle everyday to be unashamed of the gospel. I struggle with really really wanting things to work to which God has not called me to. I struggle with figuring out how to "equip the saints for the work of the ministry" in the context of discipleship relationships. I struggle with the idea that God's calling me to pastor. I struggle with battling thoughts in my head for why I'm not good enough to be one and why I should pursue something else. I struggle with the question of how much I really want God.

I like 116 clique/Reach Records and their music and all. Yet, I find myself somehow always hiding the greatest news there is.

What I have learned so far this year is that holy discontentment is good and healthy but so is holy contentment. Today I got to "tag-team" share the gospel with a freshman international student from China. And as I was interchanging with Aug and explaining the heart of Christianity being that we can't fix what's fractured in us but that God intervened and freed us back to pursue Him, me and Aug laughed (our form of debrief) as we noticed how emotional we were having basically proclaimed it at Jimmy John's. We really believe that what's wrong in the world isn't so much a cause of everyone else's flaws but we firstly take ownership of our sin and our rebellion and God's abounding, never-run-out mercy that He loves and redeems what was so enslaved and falling apart.

I need that basic Christian message. I just do. It's "Basic Christianity" that's so extraordinary. That Christ doesn't wait for sinners to get it together but simply comes, identifies, and saves. Thanks for the cross Jesus. Thanks for paying the debt I couldn't repay.

Thanks for the gifts You give everyday Father ... Much of which I don't even recognize are given. Thank You for giving me an opportunity to share the gospel everyday and for giving me the faith to go for it one step at a time. Thank You for having perfect patience with me and for being the perfecter of my faith as well as its founder and author. Thank You for saving a sinner like me. Thank You for random praise jams at the suspension bridge here in Waco with believers and unbelievers in that circle. Thank You for putting the students we shared the gospel with in that circle. Thanks for drawing Jeffrey to Yourself thus far. Keep wooing Him Holy Spirit. Awaken Him to the beauty and weight of the reality of Jesus. Save him and continue to save us from ourselves. Thank You for the grace of the local church. Teach me more everyday Father. Give me ears to hear.
-Jon