Thoughts about change, Jesus, and growing up (a little bit).

I'll go back to numbering to better organize my musings.

1) People change, circumstances change, interests change, roles change, youth groups change, churches change, the God of the Bible doesn't. It's been a rough summer in terms of what has changed and what realities are setting in, but the gospel has sustained me. This is the only reason I can walk not in self-pity, but in confidence ... not in myself but by what's been done through Jesus on the cross. I hope his proclamation (known by religious and secular alike) of "It is finished" will violently become more of a reality to me in every gray area of my life that I don't want it to. I keep seeing me in the scriptures ... unfortunately as the scribes and pharisees. I hope and pray my response isn't the same as their's when Christ exposes the games I play to avoid obedience, submission, and acknowledgment that he is Lord of all.

2) My mind has wandered and been confronted with "What exactly does it mean to "become like Christ." The thing that keeps coming back is the reminder that in the end ... Christ died and Christ rose 3 days later. It's easy to know this but hard for my heart to see that professing Christ and becoming like him are not synonymous. It's weird to think that the person of Jesus knew who would deny him, who would reject him, who would accept him, who would bow before him, who would mock him, who would beat him, who would accuse him, who would spear him, wh would insult him, and yet went to the cross anyway. It's hard to let it sink in how Jesus could patiently love and let Judas follow him for 3 years, knowing who his ultimate betrayer would be (and on top of that with an intimate gesture of a kiss). It's kind of hard to think about how Jesus handles it when he's feeding and performing miracles for people, satisfying and curing people left and right, yet how some aren't interested in him at all but only in what he provides. Yet, he endures the cross.
-And just taking a step back and looking on a more macro level, the Jesus of the Bible didn't live the happiest life. He absolutely didn't. Garden of Gethsemane sweating drops of blood, getting betrayed by a close friend, getting constantly bad-mouthed and questioned (by the scribes and Pharisees), getting attacked and pushed up to the brink of a high hill by those he insulted with his preaching (Luke 7:23 makes me think), getting mocked all along the way, getting crucified, leaving his disciples, and followers in despair ... Is this the Jesus we're trying to emulate?
-It's mind-blowing because of the unlimited patience and endurance Christ had ... I mean Jesus comes out saying he's going to die on a cross and 3 days later rise from the dead from the beginning of his ministry around the age of 30 right? Yet his closest friends, the 12, seem to not get what he's saying at all, but instead argue over which of them in the group is the greatest ... What patience our King has. I've been pointed to Philippians 2-3 over and over and over again the past month or two:

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born n the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." - Philippians 2:5-8

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith-that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." - Philippians 3:7-11

-The first couple of times I read over it, I got it in my head and it was dandy and easy to read. But it's a different thing when the scriptures actually call you out y'know? I'll be honest. My natural tendency is not to make myself nothing, take the form of a servant, humble myself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Intrinsically, my heart counts everything I could gain from being a morally nice Christian-y nice (wimpy) guy as something of worth. I want that recognition. I want people's attention on me, not the Lord and Creator of the universe. Most of the time I don't much care for knowing him and the power of his resurrection, much less want to share in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death. I don't naturally war for the things of God. I think most of us absolutely love the idea of Jesus; we love his teachings; and some part of us distantly wishes we could be like him, but I think most of us really don't want to war, sweat, and climb uphill to become like him. There's a difference between going to church and being the church. There's a difference between professing Christ and following Christ. There's a difference between religion and Jesus.

3) As I'm about to spend my last Sunday at CBC and home in general, I must say that this summer has been an interesting one for me. It's easily been the most trying emotionally. In conclusion, I'll say that it's weird growing up a little bit. I have a hard time with the concept of "being grown up" on many levels but it's really hit hard this summer in ways I could not begin word. Oh, what a God we serve. I hope we don't miss out on this. May we not settle on anything less than life to the full.

I don't say it as much, but love ya BASIC ...
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Man, this post was originally 5 lines. Oops.
-Jon