Pieces

-Eh I wish I could just post the audio but oh well.

I've been listening to some new music (at least to me) recently and I've stumbled upon a band named "Thrice" and a band called "Red." And in all honesty, their musical style clashes with my taste on more than one occasion. I like them musically but I don't necessarily love them the same way that I was obsessed with Linkin Park musically. But there's something in particular music and movies that really stirs my heart for Jesus ... and like I described in my previous post about how movies that portray the true fractured brokenness that is so apparent in humanity, I too love and embrace music that does the same thing. The word I'm looking for here is "angst" or a "crying out" that really stirs my heart and pushes me along towards growth.

For music, I do not much care for all the labels. Of course I have my personal musical tastes (and this song is definitely a song of my taste), but all I'm looking for in movies, in music, in life, is honesty to tell it like it is.
But if we humans were to be honest, I think we'd come to grips with our utter inadequacy to save ourselves from ourselves and cry out for help. Angst, desperation, a broken cry for rescue. This is what humanity screams for. We may try to find this in other people, toys, religion, but there seems to be a ceiling that we always hit that is met with the uneasy, haunting feeling that we were meant to go beyond this. We were made for something more. There is something bigger than us. So I think when all the walls are tore down, all our masks are thrown away, and we as humanity are left exposed for what we really are, there will be a heart cry. There will be tears. There will be loud verbal wailing and audible calls for help. And if we're courageous enough to be honest with ourselves, even in silence, our hearts will always have some kind of ... angst.

There will be a wrestling, a toiling, a striving. But in the end, we can try and try and try and fail. As one of my little brothers in Christ says, "I wake up and fail." No matter how hard we try, no matter how much we try to legislate transformed hearts, no matter how good a program we put on, no matter how good we can do church, we fail and we need help ... in the same way that a 4-month old baby's only hope in survival is to cry for his father and mother in hopes that they'd hear him and give him food, provide for him, take care of him, love him. shelter him. protect him, etc. At humanity's truest state, we've always known and history attests to the fact that we haven't ever and will never be able to attain what our hearts constantly tell us we were meant for. It's the reason why the brokenness in homes ranging from all spheres of life (From the suburban upper class English family to poor communities in a ghetto in NY to people enslaved under heinous situations like those of the "Invisible Children" documentary) all seem to shout out the the message: "Something is wrong!!! Something has gone wrong! We need help! Something has gone terribly wrong!" Any local news station will tell this same story. Every natural disaster, every broken home, etc. will do likewise.

"I tried so hard! So hard! I tried so hard!"
-"Pieces" by Red

By God's grace and no merit of our own, perhaps we'd in complete humiliation, come to our Father as we are, broken, shattered pieces, desperately crying out for help as a baby cries out to his father to sustain him ... For he has no other hope outside of this and neither do we.

This desperate cry for help, this angst, this broken, fractured humanity is the same broken, fractured humanity that chose to rebel against God, thinking that we know better, thus twisting everything God created to further instill an awe of Him ... This is what I'm ultimately looking for in music, movies, and in everyday life. It stirs my heart for Jesus Christ, who by grace ultimately slams, collides, and overcomes our wicked, helpless estate. Sometimes I do find this in "Christian music." Sometimes (perhaps more often), I don't.

"You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole"
-"Pieces" by Red