Transition

Coming into this year, I had no clue how sophomore year of college would be. In summary, it's been incredibly difficult. I've been tried and tested over and over again. Patience has worn thin, pride has been rampant, anger has been there. Lots of nights of confusion, doubt, questions, etc. My emotions even while I write this are flailing in so many different directions that I hadn't really known before.

My hearts more untrusting and unbelieving and cold than I'd like to admit. The passion has had some periods of wilderness. The scriptures haven't been my food as I wished they would be. My hearts largely been disobedient to a head that knows what God is calling me to do. Laziness has plagued.

But, thank God there's a "but." Yes I'm all shattered, confused, and broken about so many things going on but I'm very thankful for the grace that points me to the heart of who I am: a redeemed sinner. By grace, may my eyes be fixed to that cross. It's all I've got. It's my only hope. Praise God for its power.

Father, help my cold, hardened, heart. Expose where it's not trusting You. Pry my hands off of all this crap that it foolishly clings to. Attach them to You. I need You. Where I've been habitually disobedient and sinful, help me see this and repent of it. Help me see the power of the cross, the power and authority of Your name. Help us all Father. We're more broken than we ever want to admit. Help us see the victory in the cross. Help us long for You. Kill our lazy indifference. We want to love You more.

Merry Christmas all. Thank God for birthing His perfect, spotless, son, Jesus, into this unclean and perverse world. Oh how beautiful is the rescuer of sinners.