"O the joy and O the sorrow"

I've realized summer's almost over already. It never did feel like it started for me haha. Maybe that'll change between now and August 21.

Being in the background of a spectacularly beautiful, Christ-proclaimed wedding, followed up by a funeral of the grandmother of a lot of my cousins will jack up your emotions in a short time span. We'll miss you Mrs. Wong. I don't have many memories of you outside of sharing Christmases but I do remember one time I got to eat with the Joe's and Wongs and somehow I invaded yawl's weekly family dinner. I remember the food was good and the home was welcoming and that the Joes and Wongs had grandparents who adored them. It was a blessing to hear of your legacy of faith today. Praise Christ.

I feel like there's been 6 chapters opened and closed this summer and now the 7th is about to start. I went into this summer wanting to simply grow up due to a lot of inconsistencies I had noticed. And I'm not sure I have that much but I've been exposed to a couple things that probably forced me to not see with the eyes of child anymore. It's that fun part of life where you want to be treated as an adult but not receive any of those responsibilities or disciplines that come with it. But by the grace of Christ, I am still here in full confidence of that central message of Jesus' mission, his life, death and resurrection ... That He saves for the glory of His name. I am stirred by the fact that the gospels recount particular people in particularly dark situations and heavy baggage and doubts and Jesus comes to these guys. Not just the dysfunctional family member, not just the criminal, not just the enemy of the state, not just the blind and lame. He even goes to the most religious bible-memorizing of them all and He proclaims Himself. Praise God. It's the moments where you're tested in believing whether or not the gospel really is the "power of God for salvation to everyone who believes" or not. Did Jesus really step in and rescue in situations like this one? The scriptures say: "yes." May God grant me the belief to believe it in such a way to walk in faith and obedience. There are many many many who don't know You Jesus. Draw them Father, send me out with clear vision, listening ears, and an overwhelmed heart for Jesus and His mission. Help me understand where you have me to be the best student missionary I can be. Help me with my unbelief.

Congratulations to my cousin Laurie and her new husband Josh. Laurie, I pray that you continue to walk beautifully in the grace and love of your savior, Jesus Christ, and Josh, I pray your heart would be set aflame for God and people even more. Lead my cousin well and welcome to the family. It really was the most beautiful, Jesus-proclaimed wedding I've ever been to or maybe it's just the only one I remember because I didn't see this stuff when I was 10 :p. Regardless, my heart was stirred and encouraged. The gospel of Jesus was proclaimed with power and I know for a fact that many non-Christians and beat up Christians were there that needed to hear it. I was one of the latter. Jesus, help us remember.

"Shadows" by David Crowder Band:

"Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow

And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night

When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We'll remember the cost
We're resting in the
Shadow of the cross"

Word.

"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
-Hebrews 4:14-16.

Good to be home.

Being back home has had me realize how much I love my family and the friends God's given me and had grow up alongside me all these years. I'm just grateful for it. It's funny because there are many a night where despite all that I say and do, I simply feel alone. And I begin to doubt if anyone cares or knows or is praying for me. And just being back home for this 1.5 weeks has blessed me with moments like my mom saying "you know I pray for you everyday right?" or just chatting with some of the friends from youth group who are warring for the things of Christ at their college campuses too. Just being around CBC youth ministry gives me energy, excitement, and courage for the coming year. I pray I take advantage of it.

All that to say, I'm glad to be home. I'm glad to be around people I love that love Jesus. Simple as that I guess.

Summer 2011 f'real.

After tomorrow at 1:00pm ... It will mark the first time since post-freshman year that summer might actually feel like summer for me. Lookin forward to good things in Houston, and some time to myself. Call me an introvert.

Highlights:

1) Family.
-Oh how i grow in appreciation of them more every year i'm apart from them. i just need to grow in showing it to them :D.
2) One of my cousins is getting married!
-It'll be one of the Lau's first interracial marriages too. should be a fun wedding and an excuse to see my brother and the relatives all come into town (some I don't even know).
3) Family vacation in the DC area (to see my brother).
-I learn with every vacation/trip I go on, that I enjoy them more than I thought. Some parts test my patience but for the most part I just love being in the middle of a different city with all the different people. It excites me. Every time it gives me a little bit of vision as to perhaps where God might have me 10 years from now.
-AND i get to see my brother. I notice that I don't mention him much around baylor or that friends (even some that know me well) assume I'm an only child ... but just like the parents, it's not that I love him more I don't think, but its more how much I realize I love him. We're totally different btw. My opinion at least.
4) Alone time.
-I'm naturally an introvert. Even at my most "extroverted" spurts, I find myself going "that was fun, now I need to get away." I'm a pretty introspective guy (a bit too much at times) but what I enjoy most about this time is just the silence. I confess I take the sabbath so sinfully lightly, as if it's just a suggestion more than a "God is for us" command. But ya ... A lot has happened every semester and rarely do I pursue the time to process some of it and just let God teach me what He was doing here, there, or even all the way over there.
-And sometimes despite all that, it's just good for me to be still and take a breath and enjoy the grace gifts around me.
5)" I don't know what to call this" time.
-First thought that pops into mind is my "projects" as in ... my plans as to what's going to take a bigger focus in my queue of a reading list. I think I slowly got into like 5 and then narrowed it to 2. I end up finishing books eventually ... but more time might help that. I'd post the queue of books I'm reading but I forgot them ... the only one I can remember and which is #1 right now is "The Cross of Christ" by John Stott.
-Bible Study time. I don't know about you, but I feel like there's a lot more richness in the text that I simply don't have the time to get a shovel and dig for. I don't have "study time" the way I used to or I'm a bad time management guy who can't make the time for it. Having this little break will leave me no excuse.
-Writing. I've learned that I like to write. Sure that should be obvious with a blog with a handful of verbose entries that ramble but what I've learned is that I really enjoy it. I like putting thoughts down, critiquing them, the process of conveying the right meaning with the right words, etc. And though I'm content with writing things that I'll probably be the only one to read, I've learned that I like to learn how to write for the benefit of others too. I think it's funny that this hobby(?) of mine started with making a xanga during finals week of my sophomore year in high school. I noticed a trend about my entries ... they got longer each time. Just like this list.
-Practice. Basketball, drums, I guess theology/study of the bible fits in there too, learning how to grow in growing up?
-Learning in general. There's some things/resources I've put on hold that I wanted to make time for and didn't have the time to view during the school year. Time to get at it fosho.
6) Hangout time.
-Just to do life and enjoy life with the people I love. Hardcore talks about ministry and theology are freal fun for me and so is just getting a strawberry/banana milkshake with tapioca from star snow ice with my mom paying :D (kidding ... i think), seeing a movie with the "young adults" age people of cbc (i guess i'm getting there now too), or playing ball on Tuesday nights at cbc. Not to mention tons of PHO and DIM SUM. oh man. but ya ... whatever. Just time to rest and have fun.
7) CBC.
-Chinese Baptist Church has been my home church since birth ... And we're in a transition time ... and I don't keep up with all that's going on as much as a church member should, but I love it there, even with all its kinks. I particularly love working with the youth program. Learning from everyone, being able to teach youth for a few sundays, getting (free) resources, and just doing ministry with people I love doing ministry with ... and they don't even need my help. I'm grateful for the opportunity to always go back. In the many ways going back to Houston is "home" for me, CBC is one of the top reasons why.

Having so much to look forward to, I don't even know how much free time I'll actually have ... only thing on the schedule is July 4, cousin's wedding and the vacation but ... I'm just going to hope that means I have at least a solid month or so to do all the other stuff :D.
-Jon