"Much More In My Absence"

*edit*: Welp, I never did post this. But I feel it'll serve as a "book end" to this chapter of my life. All that I've learned, all that I've gained, all the people I've gotten to love and be loved by ... I recognize the need for myself to blog more than I do, as a way of release unto God, to put into words the thoughts and depths of my own heart. And towards that purpose, I'll be moving this new chapter of my life and whatever the blog comes to be, back to wordpress. I don't know if anyone subscribes to this, but if you want to enter into the mess and thoughts of my own head, it'll be at "https://jlau910.wordpress.com/". All thanks and glory be to God for what this blog has been to & for me. I'm sure I'll come back and relish rereading what God was doing in this chapter of my life, and hopefully letting it spur me on to keep running this race with endurance. Anyway, deuces, reader. Because of Christ, Jon. *end edit*.

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Written in January 2018:

Well this is it, my last sermon for my first youth group that God gave me the honor and joy to shepherd, teach, & walk along with. I swear I've taught Philippians 2:12-13 before as my "last sermon" for seniors about to graduate, but I'm extending this sermon to include verses 14 to 18 as extensions and perhaps apt/practical applications of working out one's salvation with fear and trembling.

Perhaps in true nature of who I've been, I'm finished with my prepping for it at 4:50 AM. Shame on me I know. But, in some way, I know I'm prepared for this sermon, I know I know this text (thanks ESV study notes ... more great tidbits I'll probably use than usual). I know that it's late. But I guess it's a cap/bookend to what this whole experience as been. I've made a lot of poor choices. I still have a lot of maturing to do in my character (self-control is there in the NT letters for "young men" in particular ... I wonder why ...). Yet, as much as I would be tempted to say I'm a hypocrite for saying this, I know in my soul that I love the bible and want students and really, any hearer to be able to understand its' depths.

Jesus, I thank you for letting me preach. I don't know if I'll be given more opportunity to do so. I want to preach as if it's my last from now on ... out of a life that lives like each day is a gift with purpose. Help me one more time deliver and handle your word with the care and reverence and excellence it demands. In the Spirit, would you say something that would open a youth's spiritual eyes and heart this one last time, and much more in my absence. I love you. Your are worthy, regardless the outcome. Thank You Jesus,
-Jon