Since I just started this blog, you wouldn't know that this isn't normal of me. But I'd like to ask and plead for prayer. Between struggling to rush out all that's on this mind (rather in a complaining/self-pitying way) and deciding to not voice anything at all, I think in obedience I'm going to do neither and instead ask for prayer. And I'd ask for you to believe in the power and effectiveness of prayer while you do so.
Would you pray for God to reveal to me what is at fault in me? Fault in how I live, how I speak, how I act, how I do what I do, how I think. Fault in doctrine, assumptions, loving others, and fault on my view of who God is.
I'm convinced that I'm not totally wrong in some areas but I don't want pride and self-confidence override truth. Pray for the daily battle I face in this fight against the flesh, and this fight of comfort. Pray for courage. Pray for God to grow me more into a man. Pray for boldness as God knows there isn't enough of it in today's American church. Pray that I battle for truth and not to just be right. Pray that I rebuke/correct out of love and not pride. Pray that I wouldn't isolate myself the way I have been. Pray that I would stop neglecting. Pray that I would unapologetically and fearlessly say what God has put on my heart to say. Pray for me at those times when I couldn't feel any more on an island by myself ... as the only person fighting this battle. Pray against selfishness.
I'm going to also ask for prayer for certain individuals that I'll only name by first name: Luke, Jorge, Chris, Jodie, Adrian, Justin, Jason, Sean, Christine, James, Amelia, Michael, Josh, Taylor, Devin, Paul. If I kept typing, it would really never end but for some reason in this moment, God's put these people on my heart to ask for intercession for. I know it's hard to pray for people and situations that are as ambiguous and wide-ranging as these, but pray that God would help each of these people in whatever situations they're in and draw them ever closer to Him ... That the gospel would sink and ruin them ... That it would keep them up at night, wake them up in the middle of the night, make them wrestle over things, make them uncomfortable, make them feel like an alien in this world. Pray for brokenness to reveal the need and the clinging to the Savior. It sounds weird. Trust me I know, but I too often forget/neglect to pray for these people.
Pray for you. Pray for brokenness, vulnerability. Pray that God would lovingly and rebukingly show you and me that we can't fix ourselves ... That we never could and never can. Pray that God would start to unnerve you and 180 some things in your life that you're holding too dearly instead of Him. Pray that we'd stop whoring around with idols. Pray that we'd turn away from those things and turn to Jesus.
Pray that God would get the glory in all of this. Pray for strength against self. Pray for God to have mercy on us. Pray for repentance. Pray for obedience.
Awesome Father, thank You for law, for it shows us the necessity and unlimited power of the cross. Thank You for grace. Thank You for You.
We love You God. We want to be humbled enough to love You more. We need You more than we want to believe. Help and forgive us for our unbelief. Help us with our view of who You are, who Your Word speaks of. I fear our view of You is far too small.
-Jon, brother in Christ
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