I can actually see it.

Sometimes I wonder whether my theology is a product of other people's theologies combined with little effort on my part of actually struggling with the scriptures to see what they mean. Like there's a difference between having a working theology and reading scripture and agreeing about it and coming into scripture with no game plan and letting the scriptures determine what you believe. Wow I just realized I was defining eisegesis and exegesis in the middle of that sentence. So I guess it's just comforting to know that this faith is my own tonight. That these things I believe about God and His scriptures, this gospel I say I will lay my life down for, it's something I can actually see in this book. It's not my hero's idea but it's right here in front of me on pages of paper.

It's just fun sometimes where you go "oh snap, i'm reading exodus 20 and for some reason I see Romans 7 all over it." It's exciting. Like you hear people you trust go "The Old Testament is all about Jesus. It's pointing to Him the whole time." But to actually see it, to feel it, to have a glimpse of the scope Paul was writing in to the church of Rome.

I wonder if I'm being overdramatic. It's just a fear of mine I've had ... "is the message of the scriptures something I've actually seen with my own eyes or is it something I kind of/somewhat see and just agree with?" "Is this stressing of the necessity of gospel-centeredness something I've personally been convinced of in the scriptures or is it a ministry philosophy/camp I agree with b/c I like and trust the guys and friends that say it?" That's my flesh a lot of the time. But, there are some rich moments where I begin to see that this stuff is simply true. "As clear as day" as they say. The gospel is everything. I thank God tonight for showing me this in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5 and Romans 7.

I'm not sure I have a favorite verse but I think John 19:30 might be it:

"It is finished."

Thank You for giving me spiritual eyes to see God.
-Jon