Weird Season

I'm at a weird season in life. It kinda seems like half of my friends are and the other half is oblivious to it altogether. What that's translated to is a lot of feeling of distance.

I've noticed that I blindly and ignorantly jump into things without counting the cost. I'm not sure if I pawn it off as some kind of faith thing but there's something very not right about it.

A good measure of where our hearts lie is to look at your day and see what most of it is focused on/what you spend most of your time doing. It's been what I call a "kick in the crotch" for me.

I'm praying and asking for prayer for all of us to repent of thinking that the good things we do somehow are what justifies us. I think a lot of us could recite the message of "grace" and how it's all about Christ and it's "all for his glory" but why does there seem to be a disconnect in the message of God in the flesh nailed and bloodied on a cross and 3 days later resurrected, and how the version of us outside of church, outside of religious gatherings like bible study does life? Shouldn't there be an unnerving self-denying humiliation of self and a broken thanksgiving towards the merciful God? I'm praying and and asking that you and I pray for each other and ourselves to have an affection and aggressive clinging for Jesus. Before salvation, we are the passive ones who are dead in our trespasses and it's all God that intervenes out of mercy. But if we're really born again into life, if we're being made more and more like Christ everyday, then aren't we sposed to be going in the direction of Christ himself? We're not passive anymore if we're of Christ. Our salvation rests on him completely but we're not just sitting in our complacency pitying ourselves and waiting for some other person to kickstart us towards a spiritual high are we?

God, stir our hearts. Tear down the walls we think we can hide behind. You see right into our hearts. Expose us. Bring to light our darkness. Grant us mercy. No matter how much we grow in You, we can't ever say we deserve You. We can't ever base our justification on our goodness because there is no such thing outside of You. Would you destroy the religion in us? Help us God. Grant us a soul that yearns for You. Detach our clinging to people and things. Draw us to You. I pray that you not let the apathetic drown in their complacency and passiveness. Expose them. Expose me. Help us please Father. Hear our prayers.
-Jon