Don't let me run away.

There's something in us that tells us that when we've sinned to run away from God, to clean up our act b4 we dare approach Him. What pride.

When God shows immense grace to expose our sin, why is our reaction always to run from Him, attempt to pay our debt and not come back to Him unless we've convinced ourselves we've sorta paid enough of it? How futile. In times like this, I have to preach to myself the gospel all over again.

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners" (Mark 2:17).

"But God demonstrates His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)

"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins" (1 John 4:10).

"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:14-16).

Every time I am confronted with being in the wrong, my natural reaction is to somehow fix it and thereby "redeem" myself. But this is against the entire message of the Bible isn't it? What if my response to realization of sin is to look at Christ's response to it? I think that's when repentance becomes a lot more liberating. God help me. Protect me from trying to clean up my own mess. Teach me the Gospel. Help me not run from it. Grant me the humility to see Your spotless son Jesus as able to sympathize ... to see that He knows the temptation, the hurt. Grant me the humble, bold confidence to draw near to that throne of grace, especially in my struggle. I don't want to run. Grant grace and mercy to help in this time of need. Help me Father. Don't let me run away.