Invisible Children and a guy named Tony.

[I've started to do my own journal and decided that I think I need this to be put out there for the public. So if it's different in any way, It's because it's raw in that it was not edited for the sake of guarding from emotion. But this is my heart ... As honest as it can possibly be. Jesus ... save(s).]

So I just got back from a screening from “Invisible Children,” a documentary film of how the country of Uganda is suffering from oppression of a terrorist group known as the LRA, and how a dream and vision birthed from Americans to set the oppressed free. I’ve never been to an event before until today and I was very glad that I did. Tony’s prayer request: “a better life” and “my brother david” who’s just starting high school back in Uganda. Man, I should have prayed with him.
My heart feels heavy. I guess I could sum it up as this:
In the end, is our resolve and success based on the freedom of those people and the meeting of their immediate needs of food, water, protection from an oppressive group? If we get all those things accomplished, is the mission a success? Do we find our most longing joy fulfilled in such?

So … What about the gospel? What about the message of Christianity? Jesus Christ, the God-man, taking on flesh, entering into our dirt and mess and proclaiming through word of mouth and deed that God is the greatest news of the universe? Was it not the claims of scripture that said “He who does not have the son, does not have life?” I mean, is shalom, shalom, if God isn’t there? If we got every injustice ended, every bit of oppression solved, every mouth on the planet of the earth fed, every woman sold into sex trafficking freed, every hope and dream realized, every fantasy of our ambition … but are not in relationship with the God of the universe … Have not been reconciled to Him, do not know of Jesus Christ … are we at a point where we still count that as success? As a win? As life?

I think John Piper said it best … (Paraphrase): Would heaven still be heaven if we got all [such things] and God were not there?

I’m scared. My heart is heavy. In the end, our solution to truly horrific, dark places isn’t Jesus. It isn’t the cross of Christ which has purchased at great cost of God’s only son, to be his son’s and daughters. It isn’t the blood soaked cross that has paid the debt we cannot repay. It isn’t the resurrection of ourselves from death to life, in light of the perfect man’s death and resurrection. If our solution tells nothing of our condition as sinners needing help AND having found one in Jesus, then what are we doing as Christians? I’m scared to say … If all these things, all that Christ did for us on that good Friday, if the resurrection on Sunday isn’t real and our solution to the true chaos and madness of this world, we’ve lost Christianity. We’re not Christians anymore and should stop bearing the title.

Father, help me. I’m not even sure if I’m sinning by typing this. I can honestly say my heart right now is not angry. It is frustrated though. I just don’t want to see my friends go down this route. It’s a trend. And they don’t see it. I mean, I know the hurt too. I walk in it daily. I see it. I hear it. I’m not downplaying the legitimate, absolute darkness of some parts of the world. All I’m pleading for is that we’d believe that the good news of Jesus Christ … The spotless lamb, dying the death we should have, bearing the title of “guilty” that we should have … I’m pleading we’d know that this is more than enough for our deepest aches and longings for a solution. Jesus, let your message be heralded with a faith that is so confident in the power of the message. I’m scared for my age group. I’m scared that we’re turning from thinking that You even care, and that You love us. Save us from ourselves and the futility of the twisted, confused parts of our mind. We need You. I need Your gospel to win my heart everyday. If not for that substitutionary, wrath-absorbing, sin-conquering death, I’ve got absolutely no hope. Even if I dedicate my life to a good cause and see great triumphs and feel great happiness from being a part of a reconciling mission … If I don’t know the message of Your reconciling the world to Yourself through the death of Your son, then I don’t have anything and I’m a guy most to be pitied for having walked in this for 7 years. God help us. Help me. Do not let me despair for I know that You finish what You start. So maybe, I’m just asking tonight … that You’d help me with my unbelief … with the fear that Christianity, and your church are losing it for good. Help me believe You’re stronger than that … That you take care of your sheep and love them enough to bring them back from the dark. From this whole experience, drive me more on mission, create in my heart a deep, deep passion to herald the greatest news of the universe. We all need it. Especially those who’ve grown up in the language. Be mighty, my God. Save.

May Tony, and his brother, David, come to know You God, the Creator of the universe. Forgive me for my lack of faith in not sharing it with him tonight. I hate my unbelief, my weakness. Ah, God, would you save and fix and repair and heal the horrific things of this world that we are helpless to change? Would You do it? Draw many to yourself Father, through aches and pains if necessary. We need You more than we can fathom. Jesus be a reality and a treasure to Tony and his brother and for Invisible Children. Be a real, true, beautiful treasure to this sinner too. I need You. That’s as much as I know. Help me. For my joy, and Your glory I ask these things. Blessed Be Your name, Jesus. Amen.
-Moody Lobby, 3/17/11, 8:57pm.

... Random insert: "Still he seeks the fellowship of his people, and sends them both sorrow and joys in order to detach their love from other things and attach it to himself"
-J.I. Packer